- [GENTLE MUSIC] When I was able to see our twins, it was really scary. All you see is different tubes coming out of your baby. Knowing what a NICU is and experiencing what a NICU is is two totally different things. Having a baby in a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit can be one of the most challenging and emotional times of your life. It's normal to feel a mix of emotions from joy and relief to anger and fear. These feelings can change day to day, and everyone deals with them differently. Definitely. I think for me the biggest thing was the guilt. I felt guilty all the time that she was there. I thought it was my fault that I couldn't carry her the way that she needed to be carried. I definitely experienced some blues and depression. When I first went home from the hospital after leaving them there, it was completely horrible. Both parents can struggle with their emotions. It was hard for me to form a bond with the twins at first. I was so emotional in the beginning to have two babies that you could fit in the palm of your hands. You kind of get a little nervous around them. Sometimes I did feel just generally depressed. But I think the thing that worried me the most was I didn't know what to do and I didn't know how I can make things better. It's important to learn ways to cope and how to find help if you need it. First, remember that you're not alone. Family and friends can be a great source of support. Tell them what you need and accept their offers of help. Another source of strength can be other parents in the NICU. These are people who may know how you're feeling and could relate to your experience. Consider joining a parent support group offered by the hospital, in your community, or online. Some parents find it helpful to talk with a nurse, social worker, or hospital chaplain. You can also try writing down your feelings. I was able to explain to myself, OK, this is what I'm going through. This is how I'm going to get through it. I know that everything is going to be all right. So just writing down those encouraging words made me feel so much better in itself. Being involved in daily care and staying informed can make you feel less anxious. If there's anything you don't understand, be sure to ask. Write down everything they tell you. And if you don't understand it, have them draw you a picture. It's easier to cope and care for your baby when you take care of yourself. Getting enough sleep, eating right, and taking breaks for a shower or a walk outside can help you recharge. Taking a break is very important because you have to rest. You have to rest for your children at home. You have to rest for your babies in the NICU. A lot of people would sleep there, and we would go home every night, and we'd have dinner together, and we'd sleep in our own beds, and that helped us out a lot to kind of walk away a little bit and de-stress from the day. So that helped us out. When you do take a break, you can rely on the NICU team. Check in for an update at any time. While it's normal to feel emotional and exhausted in the NICU, watch for warning signs of postpartum depression or anxiety. Signs include feelings of overwhelming sadness, loneliness, and helplessness, constant worry, irritability, changes in appetite or sleep, lack of energy or interest, and trouble concentrating. If you have any of these signs, talk to your doctor, the NICU social worker, or any member of your baby's care team. They can put you in touch with a counselor, therapist, or someone else who can help. And if you ever have thoughts about hurting yourself or your baby, make sure your baby is in a safe place and call for help immediately. Taking care of your mental health is an important part of caring for yourself and your baby. When your baby is in the NICU, it can be a difficult time. By finding healthy ways to cope, taking care of yourself, and accepting help when you need it, you'll be able to face the days ahead. I think this experience has made me stronger. I didn't realize how strong I am or could be.